I am wondering about my teens maturity level and what I should do about it.?

My 17 year old, will be 18 this year, daughter doesn't act her age. She was sexually abused when younger by her father and he also threatened to kill her and is in a group counseling for sexuallly abused kids. She is on meds for PTSD and depression. How ever I am concerned at her maturity and wondering what is going on. She plays with toys like she is a child. One day when I thought she was doing dishes and she wasnt i found her in my granddaughters playpen brushing our dog with my grandaughters hair brush. This is one example of what I am talking about. The other day she was in the tub with her swimsuit on playing with my younger daughters polly pockets. She does fine in school, when she applies her self. Socially she doesn't have alot of friends. We use to be close but she has drifted away. I find myself getting frustrated with her and feeling guilty for it. Im not sure where to go from here. I have told her counselors one said they all develope at their own rates.

I am wondering about my teens maturity level and what I should do about it.?

first of all: you knwo she is not normal, but you have to realize what this means. Her past, the meds, and the depression make her different. not lower mentally, probably more advanced. you cant approach this thinking like a normal person. youre never going to find your daughter in your own mind. try to get inside her shoes. think of things form her perspective when considering how to put somethign or tell her something.

i believe she does this bc she wants to be a child. when you grow up things get hard. you think and you care and you worry. things are complicated. when youre a child life is simple. life is black and white. fun and not fun. however, we know she cannot be a child forever. no one can pretend to be something theyre not for too long.

our mission is to amke her realize she must grow up, and help her do it.

first, i dont know what kind fo chores she does but dont expect her do a lot. build her list of responsibilities slowly.

get her active. make sure she spends at least 15minutes in the sunlight everyday.

dont let her use babytalk.

have her read, expand her vocabulary. use music, art, literature, even film to expand her mind through emotional intelligence.

she must hang out with people her own age. dont let her be alone too much. i dont mean alone as in she needs supervision, i mean alone as in she needs companionship to keep her mind on living and not on the past or her fears or whatever makes her most depressed or anything else.

so, main things she should do:

1. get out the house, hang out-with kids her age.

2. dont let her have too much lounge time

3. expand her mind through literature, music, film, and art.

if she needs a friend her age, i would love to be her friend. im 16, but close enough to her age. besides, i can relate to her in alot of ways.

be patient with her, i know its hard to have "different" children. i feel sorry for my mother everyday. but it will be okay. i promise.

I am wondering about my teens maturity level and what I should do about it.?

confront her about it but dont be mean

I am wondering about my teens maturity level and what I should do about it.?

Wow. Must be difficult to see her like that. Maybe you should join a support group, or the both of you, for sexual abuse survivors. Just to hear other people's stories and get some support other than from an impersonal doctor or therapist.

I am wondering about my teens maturity level and what I should do about it.?

She has a lot she is dealing with, and the meds probably don't help the progression rate, as they tend to downplay the emotions. I saw this same type of behavior in my Nephew, though once he went to college and quit taking his meds, he was fine. I am by no means suggesting whe stop medicating, that is for her and the doctor to decide. She will mature, just give her time and a loving environment.

I am wondering about my teens maturity level and what I should do about it.?

My goodness that is a lot on the plate for both you and your daughter. Her maturity level will change as she deals with what has happened to her, but it will take time. See if she can get some individual counseling too. It sounds at this point like her maturity level has stopped- much like a clock stops. Hopefully the individual counseling will help her get back on track. I hope and pray that she will get better soon.